Tag: kids

How to raise a helpful child

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Lead by Example

If you want a child to do something, it helps to have them witness you doing it as well as the result that came from it. Whenever you’re finished with a project, clean up your mess.

When finished eating, take your plate, utensils, and glass to the sink. Organize your things so that you know where they are when you need them.

Children see this and are more likely to also clean up after themselves.  If you’re leaving a mess everywhere then they will have a harder time understanding why cleaning up is important.

Label the Positive

Notice the times that they do something helpful and praise them, telling them they’re a good helper.

When we use character traits like “good helper” or “very helpful”, over time children begin to make that part of their personality.  The more you label them as being a helper, the more they will believe it to be true.

Delegate and Praise

Give them tasks throughout the day to practice their helpful skills. The more they practice, the better they’ll learn.  And every time they do something helpful, praise them.

Make it Fun

For younger kids, singing the clean-up song is a huge help in picking up toys, but even as they get older it’s fun to add any songs and even a little dance to the process of cleaning up. Counting helps too. Count toys picked up, cutlery put away, and the number of pens and crayons you find.

Fit for all Ages

It’s easier to raise a helpful child earlier in development than later, but it is possible to teach older children to be helpful. All of the same tips apply with a slightly different approach.

As they get older you can explain things more. Explain why you need help, why it’s important for them to take more responsibility, how important it is to work together, and that every person finds their own rhythm when it comes to cleaning, organizing, and helping others, but the end result is the same. Taking care of your things, taking care of shared items, and treating others the way you want to be treated.

Raising a helpful child can be a truly daunting challenge at times. Especially if it seems like one more item to add to the never-ending to-do list. But it doesn’t have to be a frustrating endeavour.

By leading by example, staying positive, and having fun, it is possible to turn the most stubborn mess maker into a happy, helpful partner. One step at a time. One day at a time.

Should I shout?

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Shouting does not make a someone a terrible parent.  I bet that most people shout because they are GOOD parents.

You see good parents try. They want to do better. They have expectations for their children.  They get frustrated when their children don’t live up to those expectations.

They are worn down because they work all day to take care of their families.  They try hard to make sure that their children have everything that they need.

They feel bad that they can’t do enough, or that they just aren’t enough for their children.

So it’s not surprising that we lose it every once in a while.

Bad parents don’t feel those things.  Bad parents don’t try.  Bad parents don’t feel the guilt.  They don’t get run down trying to do it all.

Because we are good parents, we work so hard and feel so much guilt and frustration that we get overwhelmed frustrated and angry.

Good parents feel so many emotions, including anger, and bad parents don’t.

I Am Permanently Damaging My Children?

FALSE

Oh the guilt of shouting can be so heavy.

We know it’s not good for our kids, and there are articles after articles online telling us so.

But let me tell you, shouting may not be permanently damaging to children.

In every healthy relationship there’s a balance between positive moments and negative moments.  There have been studies and they show that for every negative moment, we need five positive interactions to keep the relationship healthy and in balance. These studies were done with couples, but have been applied to the parent/child relationship as well.

Positive interactions can be small, a smile, a touch, small gestures.  I bet you do a lot of those small gestures with your children throughout the day.

We are all going to get angry and do things that we aren’t so proud of, it’s how we make up for those things that count.

The trick is to keep things in balance.  If you feel like you need help with this, check out myth #5 below.

  • Don’t believe these myths about shouting.
  • You ARE a good parent.
  • You are NOT permanently damaging your children.
  • You are NOT the only one who shouts.
  • You CAN stop shouting.
  • But you might shout again, and that’s okay.

The best books for happy kids

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Experts say that there are three very important times of day to connect with your children, when they first wake up, when they get home from school, and at bedtime.

Because bedtime is usually a chore, we’ve picked out the best books that make both you and your children laugh-out-loud.  After all, there’s no better medicine than laughter…

I Broke My Trunk; by Mo Willems

These books are amazing!  They are seriously funny for both kids and adults. The series is about two friends, Elephant and Piggy, and their hilariously funny conversations.  These books are witty, a bit quirky and always end in hilarious, unexpected ways.

Stuck; by Oliver Jeffers

The authors books are quirky and funny for both parents and kids.  Stuck , is a story of a boy whose kite gets stuck in a tree, so he throws up his shoe to get it down, but that gets stuck too.  Oh but he’s not deterred, this boy is determined to get down his kite…no matter what.  Things spiral a bit out of control in this book, and the boy’s antics will leave any kid rolling on the floor with laughter.

The book with no pictures; by B.J. Novak

The premise of this children’s book is that whoever reads the book, the storyteller has to read every word….no matter how silly the word is.  So parents are stuck yelling words like “Blork!” and sentences. Is there any better way to get kids to laugh, than by making the adults in their lives look silly?  

A Perfectly Messed-Up Story; by Patrick McDonnell

It’s a story about a boy named Louie, who just wants to tell you a story, but keeps getting interrupted by…you.  How dare you drop peanut butter and jelly on him when he’s telling his story?!  These little instructions send little Louie over the edge a bit, and he has to learn to persevere and be okay with a little bit of a mess.  

How to motivate a teen

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You can motivate your teens with encouragement which is very different from trying to get your teens to do what you want.

There is one sure-fire way to get your kids to keep their agreements, and it’s called follow-through. It may be a lot of work for you in the beginning, but it will be worth every minute of the time you spend to train both you and your teen to use better habits.

Read these four steps, the four traps, and the four hints for successful follow- through again and again, because they are very different from how you would normally respond as a parent—and as a human.

You must be there at the first deadline to set up the follow-through. It won’t work in the long run without you there in the beginning.

If you moan or complain that using follow-through is too much work, track how much time you spend reminding and nagging your teen instead. Notice the effect that nagging has on you and on your teen. Keep a checklist of how often the task you are nagging about actually gets done. We call this a reality check.

Follow-through will help you use fewer words and your kids will hear you better.

Don’t hesitate to prepare in advance and maybe even practice with a friend. You can always read self-help books or see a live demonstration. It helps!

We do not recommend making contracts with your teens. If you need to write information down as a reminder for both of you, that is respectful and effective. Setting up a contract means you are treating your teenager like a client or an adversary. If you do sign a contract, don’t be surprised by your teen’s attitudes.

Get creative this Halloween

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Lots of kids either have a craft side or simply enjoy making something, regardless of the end result and Halloween is a perfect time to go this.  There are hundreds of different craft ideas for kids around the theme ranging from simple pot decoration to more complex activities.

For the little ones, painting a pot is a good idea.  Cover a pot in some white paper the day before, stick it down and leave it to set for a blank canvas.  Then the kids can paint it orange, cut out some black eyes, nose and mouth and add a stalk and leaf in glittery paper to make a cup pumpkin lantern.  Or paint it luminous green, draw on some face features as well as a big black gash with stitches then paint the rim black.  Add a couple of metallic T-shapes on either side and you have a Frankenstein pot!  Once decorated, they can fill them with sweet to give out on the night to trick or treaters or for a party.

If you’re having a party, a Halloween decoration or ten are compulsory.  For the younger kids, you can start simple.  Buy some wooden blocks, one for each letter of Happy Halloween.  Let them paint them orange or whatever colour they want then write a letter on each in a black marker.  Either glue them together to form the word or if you are handy with a drill, drill holes through them and string them onto some thick cord.

Another decoration is a nice witches broom to hang above the fireplace but using the real broom can be a bit heavy.  Instead, take the inside of a roll of wrapping paper and get the kids to paint it black.  Wrap a few sections of yellow around it and you have the stick.  For the broom, take a piece of cloth and either stick or stick a load of threads on it then wrap it around the stick and glue it.

Costume Ideas

Going out trick or treating means that a costume is compulsory.  Some kids choose to just go with a favourite character without regard for the time of year but others want something special to Halloween.  You can buy lots of them in the shops but if you want to make something unique and spend time with the kids making it, you can create your own.

The scary spider is a simple option and all that is needed are some plain black clothes to start with.  A hoodie, trousers and black shoes are the basis for the outfit.  Take two pairs of black tights and stuff them with the content of an old pillow or some bubble wrapping.  Stitch them onto the top and tie loops at the end so that kids can move their spider legs with their arms.

Perhaps one of the easiest costume options is the Grim Reaper.  A black hooded cloak that goes all the way to the ground is all that is needed along with a white swimming cap to hide their hair.  Face paints to make their faces white and add big black eyes and a cardboard scythe finish the outfit.

For the girls, a witch is a good choice.  Pick up a witches hat from the shop and decorate as you like.  A feathered scarf is a good addition to the outfit and a coordinating top and skirt to match the hat colour is needed.  You can cut out paper or cardboard stars and other shapes to stitch onto the clothes for that witch chic.  Then some makeup or face paints will finish the look.

Children’s Party Food

With all the elements of Halloween it is easy to find food that can be transformed into something spooky or gory.  For instance, Dracula cookies are an easy quick option.  Take some chocolate chip cookies and cut them in half.  Put some red jam on one side of each then stick some white marshmallow pieces in to resemble teeth.  For the fangs, slide some slivers of almond between the marshmallows – instant vampire cookies.

For cupcake fans, the ideas are endless.  Green icing and some witches’ legs sticking out is one design while spider’s webs iced into a flat cake is another great look.  Using biscuits to make grave stones and have them sticking out of crumbly chocolate icing works well for spooky cemetery cakes while a simple iced face on a white cake makes for a ghoulishly tasty snack.

If carving a pumpkin is a bit too much for you, why not make oranges into carved lanterns instead?  Cut the top off the orange and scoop out the middle then cut out eyes, a nose and a funny mouth.  You can even add jelly inside them and leave to set before carving the face.

School Lunchbox Rules and Ideas

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If there’s one area that is frequently discussed among parents and teachers but has no clear solution in place, it is the topic of school lunchboxes.  Many believe that poor quality lunches are a big part of the growing obesity epidemic and some schools are taking dramatic steps to deal with the problems of children food.  Others believe that parents need to be better informed about what they should give their kids for lunch.  So what are the rules and ideas to make for a better, healthier lunch

Educating parents

Others take the view that the solution isn’t about banning or confiscating foods but educating parents on what constitutes a healthy lunchbox and what they should include in it to give their kids the best meal.

In the US, there is also a big move towards giving parents the information to create healthy lunches.  This can include elements such as baking batches of food to freeze such as whole gain muffins or breads as well as healthier cookies.  A big emphasis is placed on what the food looks like because tasty looking food is more likely to be eaten by the kids – hence the reason that sugary foods are always popular.

Filling a box with veggies sticks and a little amount of a yoghurt dip or hummus are ideas discussed along with healthy crackers with toppings, fruit smoothies and sandwiches made with pitta bread rather than normal white bead.  Even leftovers such as grilled chicken breasts cut into sticks or nuggets and served with a dip are easy to make options.

Websites such as Change4life offer a rota of school lunchbox meal ideas to get the right stuff into the kids but to keep the menu varied.  There is also a range of recipes on the site to make with the kids and then send into school for their lunch.

Why it matters

While the growing concerns about childhood obesity are at the centre of these concerns, there are other reasons why a good, healthy school lunch is a benefit to children.  For starters, eating the right foods can boost the metabolism, making the children feel more energetic and increasing their concentration.  This leads to better results in class.

By making all children eat school lunches, there can be a stop to the problem of some children feeling left out when eating a school meal versus a ‘fun looking’ lunchbox filled with poor nutritional foods.  Let’s face it, kids love what isn’t good for them and if they see their friends eating fun, sugary foods, they don’t want to eat their own healthy lunch.

Whether banning, confiscating or educating is the way forward, it is clear that a plan needs to be in place to help our kids have a happy, healthy lunch that sets them up well for the rest of the day.

Campervan holidays with the Kids

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At one time, the campervan was seen as a hippie thing, an old VW campervan travelling around the outdoor concerts and the occupants sleeping in fields.  But today, the campervan comes in a range of different styles and features, though the VW campervan is still a good starting point!

Other big name manufacturers are now producing their own versions, with both the Sharan and the Harry being Peugeot’s offerings.  Recently, a New Zealand company has begun to convert Toyota people carriers into campervans and these are now available in the UK.  There are also specific motorhome companies that make spacious and luxurious mobile homes that you won’t want to leave behind at the end of the holiday.

Routes

The variation and type of route you can plan is only limited by how long you have.  You can cover all the main sites within a single county over a few days or take a week or longer to cover a larger area and see the most important sites.

One example is the 7-day English Heritage route from Spaceship Rentals.  Their route starts in London then heads south to Hastings to see the abbey and the battlefield then along to Dover Castle.  On the 2nd day, travel to Portsmouth and hop on the ferry to the Isle of Wight or enjoy the sites around the city.  The third day recommends visiting Osbourne House and Carisbrooke Castle while on the 4th, take in Salisbury and Stonehenge, adding in Woodhenge if you have the time.  On day five, visit Oxford and the sights of the city then do the same the next day in the other big university city, Cambridge.  Finally, on the 7th day, head back to London and visit sites such as Kenwood House and Parliament Hill.  All of these come under a special pass from English Heritage.

Places to stay

There are plenty of caravan and camping sites around the country that will happily accommodate campervans.  Some can be closed at certain times of the year so if you are planning to travel in autumn and winter, this may limit your options a little more.  Sites can range in price from £15-20 a night for those with an electricity connection and organised sites will often offer features such as coin operated laundry and free showers as well.  

In theory, you aren’t allowed to simply park in a layby or on public land to camp but many people do this and it is known as wild camping.  Make sure if you consider this that you aren’t trespassing on anyone’s land, you aren’t disturbing anyone and there are no signs specifically prohibiting camping overnight on the spot.  

Equipment needed

When going on holiday in a campervan, remember that you only have a limited space so prioritising what you need for the break is important.  Take essentials in the way of food and drink with you but remember most of it can be bought while on the road, as there will only be a limited space to store stuff.  If you are using a gas burner, don’t forget to have space fuel for it and the same if you are taking a barbeque.  Dishes can be cleaned as used but don’t forget to take items such as cloths.

Tips

Most campervan holiday fans will advise you to plan ahead for your trip – being spontaneous can be fun but can also be disappointing if things don’t pan out as expected.  Include things in your planning such as toll roads and ferries so you have change for them and watch out for closures on roads and in venues.

If you are travelling with young kids, don’t forget to take along the car seats they will need and plenty of children’s entertainment for the travelling part of the holiday – avoiding bored kids is every parent’s ultimate aim in life!

Outdoor fun – nature’s way!

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Have a go at Kew’s Treetop Walkway

Got a child with their head in the clouds? This 60ft high walkway nestled in South West London’s Kew Gardens will burn off lots of energy. The 118 steps are worth the wait as you take in the tree tops at eye level. Endless opportunities for spotting birds, wildlife and weird and wonderful creatures await, and the kids’ mission task asks budding tree surgeons to gen up on all things wood as you go around. Adult tickets into Kew: £9 Free entry to under 16s 

Take a stroll in Ashdown Forest

A. A. Milne set his Winnie-the-Pooh stories in 100 Acre Wood – a forest inspired by Ashdown Forest in East Sussex. Head there for a day out to visit all the locations enjoyed by Pooh, Piglet and Tigger too, including the gorgeous Pooh Sticks Bridge for, of course, a family game of Pooh Sticks. Pooh Corner on the High Street in Hartfield village, sells Winnie-the-Pooh goodies for all ages

See the Northern Lights

Pull on your thermals and go in search of the Aurora Borealis, aka, the Northern Lights. The greatest light show on earth can be best seen above the Arctic Circle, which means a trip to Scandinavia, probably in minus one conditions. The lights are incredibly elusive, so if you’re planning a trip, never, ever promise your kids they will see the action! 

See the Pyramids

The breath-taking Pyramids of Giza are special. Head to Egypt when your kids are a little older, so they can cope with the heat better and marvel at the Pharaohs’ ingenuity

Make new friends at Oceanopolis

Overlooking the harbour in Brittany, Oceanopolis is bursting with aquatic life. Turtles turn tricks, penguins potter in front of your very eyes and even a shark shakes its stuff in a dedicated tank. With three different sections to visit, tropical, polar and temperate waters, this enormous aquarium is a day your kids won’t forget. Adult tickets: €19.80 Children’s tickets (3-17 years): €12.80 

Marvel at the Grand Canyon

An epic gorge which in some places is a whopping 6,000 feet deep, this is a wonder that takes some beating. Best taken in when your kids are a little older, and can manage to troop around on their own. Take a stroll, bike around and don’t miss the Skywalk – a glass-bottomed path providing breath-taking views. 

Visit Cheddar Gorge

Head underground and explore the caves at Cheddar Gorge for an unforgettable adventure. Audio guides bring Gough’s Cave to life, while the colourful, underground world of Cox’s Cave has fountains and mirror pools like you’ve never seen before. Take time to have a go at the Crystal Quest as a family to discover new corners and secrets of the underground world. Adult tickets: £18.95 Children’s tickets (5-14 years): £12.95

6 great places to take the kids

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Have a magical time at the Harry Potter Studio Tour

A must for Harry, Ron and Hermione fans, the Harry Potter Studio Tour in Hertfordshire lets wannabe wizards whizz around Diagon Alley, get their heads down in class and sit down in the iconic Great Hall of Hogwarts. The tour is full of props from the movies and behind the scene exclusives. A truly magical (sorry) day out with photo ops’ aplenty to treasure afterwards. Adult tickets: £33 Children’s tickets: £25

Meet the Crystal Palace dinosaurs

Looming out of the south London park are several cast iron dinosaurs from 1852, just hanging out and waiting to greet inquisitive guests on Dinosaur Lake. The short circular walk around the beasts shows our prehistoric friends from all angles, while info boards give just the right amount of information for dino-obsessive children. The park has a popular playground and very welcoming café for a pit-stop afterwards. 

Take a steam railway trip

Find a steam railway journey near you and head out together. You won’t be disappointed with a day chugging around the countryside. One of the best we’ve been on is the Llangollen Railway in North Wales. Worth the trek for the stunning surroundings alone, and if you’re lucky, Thomas the Tank Engine will even be around. Look out for the moment the train’s engine runs around the track to pull the carriages back in the other direction. Truly special stuff.

Visit Disneyland Paris

Make memories that will last a lifetime with a family trip to Disneyland. Meet Mickey and Minnie, swoon over the gorgeous Disney Princesses and enjoy thrills on the rides designed for all different ages and theme park thresholds. The lights, the glitter, the characters and the atmosphere will stay with your children forever. Big kids (who don’t want to admit they still really want to hang with Minnie) will love the rollercoaster rides. 

Cycle the Camel Trail

Stretching right from the village of St Breward on the edge of Bodmin Moor, to Padstow the Camel Trail is a recreational trail which follows the line of the old railway, summed up in John Betjeman’s Cornwall as ‘the most beautiful train journey I know’. The 17-mile trail is perfect for families on two wheels, so hire bikes and enjoy the flat trail. If 17 miles is a bit daunting, head for the last leg which takes in the coastline into Padstow from Wadebridge. Lock your bikes up at the end and have fish and chips on the harbour, try your hand at crabbing and then scramble over the rocks for a stroll on the beautiful beach at Hawkers Cove.

Learn at Our Dynamic Earth

Perched on the edge of Edinburgh’s epic Holyrood Park is Our Dynamic Earth, which takes visitors through our amazing planet’s past, present and future. With a focus on a sustainable future, and how we can help the planet deal with climate change and a growing population, make the trip when you have young children, and get tips for carrying on the good work at home and beyond. Adult tickets: £12.50 Children’s tickets (3-15years): £7.95.

Pokémon GO

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There’s no getting away from the phenomenon that is Pokémon GO at the moment and it seems to have engulfed adults just as much as kids – if not more so.  Computer game crazes are nothing new, the recent madness for Candy Crush is a perfect example, but this one seems to be generating a few concerns with its location based nature. However, some have raised the point that Pokémon GO and other games may also have benefits for kids that we can miss amid the craze.

The game itself

If you haven’t tried the game yourself yet, here’s the lowdown on what it is all about.  We all remember the Pokémon games, those Japanese anime style cute characters that arrived on the scene in the 1990s?  The new version is quite a bit different and makes use of the very latest augmented reality for players to ‘catch’ the Pokémon in real places around the world.

As one person said not only does it bring out the inner geek in the 20-30 age group, it gets kids out and about.  No more just sitting in front of a TV screen, blasting at aliens or chasing spies, they have to go out around their area and further afield to find these Pokémon characters.

Made by Pokémon Co and nearly one third owned by gaming giant Nintendo, the game has already shot to the top of the list of most used apps and overtaking the likes of WhatsApp, Snapchat and Instagram in terms of user numbers.

Early concerns

As with any craze, there have already been the stories of things going wrong.  One Wyoming teenager found a dead body while questing for an elusive Pokémon while a group of trend-conscious burglars lured people to a location to rob them by tapping in on a Pokestop used by the game.

Some of the stories almost sound funny but there is a worrying undercurrent.  Stories of people having car accidents while playing the game and driving, walking out into moving traffic as they aren’t concentrating and worse.

One of the biggest concerns is that while the game creates a sense of community with other players, this might be exploited by paedophiles and other criminals.  Kids lose their sense of the danger of someone they don’t know when that person is playing the game and this is a big worry to parents, teachers and carers.

Another concern is that kids could be lured to locations as there is a facility on the game to let others know when there is a character to be caught.  Pokémon ‘gyms’ are another phenomenon where children could be drawn in by the game and exposed to dangerous circumstances.

Less serious concerns have been expressed including the use of swearing by older players and the sexual explicit user names that some take.  Even the ability to buy these lures for £1 in the app is worry for parents if parental controls aren’t in place.

The positive potential of Pokémon GO

Despite the initial concerns which tend to surface around any craze or trends, others have been quick to realise the potential plus side of the game. One school in Australia is using the game in the classroom after research showed that the game had a positive effect.

The pupils suffering with autism have been shown to have improved social skills through the use of the game and are more engaged with the rest of their lessons.  The game encourages them to play with other kids in a way they would have been reluctant to do otherwise.

The nature of the augmented reality of the game also works well with the way these children’s brains work.  Those with autism are very visually centred with 90% of their learning coming through what they see.  In a busy classroom, these children can find it difficult to focus and learn but using visual means has a far better result.

Ideas for children’s fun activities that could base around the game include using ‘walking journals’ where children follow a story or a map with the game and can improve a variety of skills including maths as well as boosting their imagination.  Homework could be something like exploring their town with the game and submitted screen shots on a Monday about what they found.

Wider benefits

While computer games as a whole are often seen as the enemy by parents and limitations on time playing is definitely a good idea, there are a surprising number of benefits that any kid can gain from game play.

Basic skills like vision and observation can be boosted by playing games. Children with ‘lazy eyes’ have been shown to improve their vision sitting close to the screen and the general ability to pick up small details and colours is enhanced.

Different games also create interests in subjects, such as history.  Games set in historical period or with historical characters have created an interest in the real topic that can even lead to better exam results.

Abilities learned playing games is increasingly having practical benefits that are recognised by employers and universities.  Playing online games with hundreds of other people encourages team work, communication and an increased ability to think on your feet.  Even surgeons are getting better at their job due to the fine motor skills learning playing games.

Games can help people suffering from a number of conditions.  Post-operative or injury pain is one example where playing a game creates a complete release and allows a relaxation that isn’t possible otherwise.  Patients with MS have been shown to have improved balance after playing certain games, one of the major problems found with the condition.

As well as easing physical conditions, games can help with mental conditions.  Stress relief is top of the list as well as helping suffers with depression to relax and get their mind off their problems for a period of time.  Studies have even show that those with dyslexia can do more after playing games as the constantly changing environment of action games helps them to develop their focus.

So while games should be approached with caution and moderation, there is clearly benefits as well as problems that Pokémon GO and many other game crazes can help.