Shouting does not make a someone a terrible parent. I bet that most people shout because they are GOOD parents.
You see good parents try. They want to do better. They have expectations for their children. They get frustrated when their children don’t live up to those expectations.
They are worn down because they work all day to take care of their families. They try hard to make sure that their children have everything that they need.
They feel bad that they can’t do enough, or that they just aren’t enough for their children.
So it’s not surprising that we lose it every once in a while.
Bad parents don’t feel those things. Bad parents don’t try. Bad parents don’t feel the guilt. They don’t get run down trying to do it all.
Because we are good parents, we work so hard and feel so much guilt and frustration that we get overwhelmed frustrated and angry.
Good parents feel so many emotions, including anger, and bad parents don’t.
I Am Permanently Damaging My Children?
FALSE
Oh the guilt of shouting can be so heavy.
We know it’s not good for our kids, and there are articles after articles online telling us so.
But let me tell you, shouting may not be permanently damaging to children.
In every healthy relationship there’s a balance between positive moments and negative moments. There have been studies and they show that for every negative moment, we need five positive interactions to keep the relationship healthy and in balance. These studies were done with couples, but have been applied to the parent/child relationship as well.
Positive interactions can be small, a smile, a touch, small gestures. I bet you do a lot of those small gestures with your children throughout the day.
We are all going to get angry and do things that we aren’t so proud of, it’s how we make up for those things that count.
The trick is to keep things in balance. If you feel like you need help with this, check out myth #5 below.
- Don’t believe these myths about shouting.
- You ARE a good parent.
- You are NOT permanently damaging your children.
- You are NOT the only one who shouts.
- You CAN stop shouting.
- But you might shout again, and that’s okay.
