Tag: parents

Am I A Terrible Parent?

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Shouting does not make a someone a terrible parent. I bet that most people shout because they are good parents. You see good parents try. They want to do better. They have expectations for their kids. They get frustrated when their children don’t live up to those expectations.

They are worn down because they work all day to take care of their families. They try hard to make sure that their kids have everything that they need. They feel bad that they can’t do enough, or that they just aren’t enough for their children. So it’s not surprising that we lose it every once in awhile.

Bad parents don’t feel those things. Bad parents don’t try. Bad parents don’t feel the guilt. They don’t get run down trying to do it all. Because we are good parents, we work so hard and feel so much guilt and frustration that we get overwhelmed frustrated and angry. Good parents feel so many emotions, including anger, and bad parents don’t.

I Am Permanently Damaging My Children?

Oh the guilt of shouting can be so heavy. We know it’s not good fun for kids, and there are articles after articles online telling us so.

In every healthy relationship there’s a balance between positive moments and negative moments. There have been studies and they show that for every negative moment, we need five positive interactions to keep the relationship healthy and in balance. These studies were done with couples, but have been applied to the parent/kid relationship as well.

Positive interactions can be small, a smile, a touch, small gestures and fun, free family days out. I bet you do a lot of those small gestures with your kids throughout the day.

We are all going to get angry and do things that we aren’t so proud of, it’s how we make up for those things that count.

 

Be a happy parent

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We love parenthood, and we love our kids, but let’s face it: Parenthood is hard.

While recent studies about parents’ happiness levels have produced mixed results, one thing’s certain: It takes some work to be able to say, “I enjoy parenting, I really do!” without crossing your fingers.

So, what are the secrets of happy parents? Regardless of whether you have a screaming toddler or an eye-rolling teen, scientists and researchers in the field of positive psychology have found strategies that can help you appreciate your role as a parent, and improve your relationships with your children—starting now:

As parents, we think there’s always more we could do, more time we should devote, more love we are capable of giving—and so we feel we’re constantly coming up short. But this kind of thinking is unhelpful, at best. Come up with some of your children’s main needs and think about what you have done to satisfy them. Or reflect on decisions you’ve made that have resulted in better outcomes for your kids. Whenever you’re feeling like you’re not doing enough, think back to these achievements.

We’re at our happiest when we’re engaged in leisure activities. Remember, your emotions will rub off on your kids—not to mention everyone else around you, so if you’re tired and overstressed, think of how that will affect the way you interact with your family. It’s key to schedule some “me” time each day (or at least most days!), where you can devote time to something that makes you happy, whether that’s reading a suspense novel, jogging, or gardening. If we spent even half the time scheduling our own play time as we do our child’s, we’d all be happier.